"Ultramasculine" Andy Frantic
Andrew Squig (born July 4, 1955) is a retired and missing American professional wrestler best known for his time in PGA as "Ultramasculine" Andy Frantic, a caricature of what human beings would be like without the filter of a Super-ego. His signature "Ehhh heh!" catchphrase is one of the most common impersonations found among idiots who pretend to know things about professional wrestling. At some point between 2008 and 2010, Squig disappeared from the public eye and has been missing ever since. His wife has no idea where he is and she's worried sick. Have you seen him? Professional wrestling career Man, I don't have time for this. Long story short, he teamed up with Cat Gunsmith as The Mega Friends in the 1980's and now they hate each other. He wore goofy braided elbow pads. He is a crazy person. Frantic left the PGA in 1998, but returned two years later as Gunsmith's mystery partner in a United States Tag Team Championship match against champions The Wrangler Boyz. In the match's finish, Frantic pinned Gunsmith to become the new World Heavyweight Champion. He retired again in 2001, but returned once more in 2007 to have a return feud with Gunsmith; however, he realized after he signed on that this would involve working with Gunsmith, so he retired a week later after having already defeated Rick Aomori-Jones in 12 seconds with a kick to the groin followed by a small package. Rap career Ha, well, see the picture. From his hit single, "The Presupposed Existence of Humanity": Cat Gunsmith You can't run wit Andy Frantic You're too pedantic You wanna see these fists We competed in tandem for many a year But now I have you runnin' like you're sore a'feared When I turned heel, I didn't shave half my beard Gunsmith you're a dick You are just such a dick Booking shows and cutting promos Pretendin' like you didn't even pay for those ho's Andy Frantic here, I don't pay for strange I'm Ultramasculine, went to the ER for mange Spoken verse: Hey Cat, I'm runnin' this promotion now You've got nowhere to hide, keep being a woman disguised as a man You had a match with Pulp? I had a match with Pulp too, and it ended at least two and a half minutes earlier People like me a lot So, that's all that really needs to be said on that subject. Personal life In 1998, Squig was briefly hospitalized with mange. In 2005, Squig nearly died after shooting a commercial for his lifelong endorsement of asbestos. The shoot followed the exact same structure as every other Ultramasculine asbestos commercial, but unfortunately that still meant his catchphrase, "Ask about Asbestos," was immediately followed by Frantic swallowing a large chunk of asbestos wrapped around a wooden stick like candy. In wrestling *'Finishing Moves' **Diving elbow drop *'Signature Moves' **High knee smash *'Nicknames' **"Ultramaculine" **"The Mascuchist" **"Lord Masc-ing Tape" **"Handy Andy Mandy Dandy" *'Managers' **Madame Eleanor **Piquant Sandy *'Music' **Edward Elgar - Nimrod **Andy Frantic - Gat Huntin' & Frontin' Ho's Championships and accomplishments *Professional Grappling Association **PGA World Heavyweight Wrestling Championship (3 times) **United States Tag Team Championship (1 time) - with Cat Gunsmith (1) **PGA North American Heavyweight Championship (1 time) **Grande Royale (1990) Category:PGA World Heavyweight Wrestling Champions